Remembering it is not always perfect

Hugh, my 5 year old, lost his first tooth today.  Momentous occasion, however, he didn't even know he lost it and doesn't know where it is. We were just sitting at the dinner table, I looked over and noticed a gap in his mouth.  Normally, a situation like this, I would be calling everyone I know sharing this event. However, I feel slightly embarrassed.  How could he have lost a tooth and not only did I not immediately notice, I cannot find it? How long has it been gone? More than a day? A Week??? I feel like a terrible mom.
Early this morning, 4 am, I stumbled upon an article about Derek Miller, the Canadian blogger, dying of cancer, who wrote his final post. His own obituary. He wrote about missing out. How we can plan how we want things to work out but we can't expect them to work out.

I have to remind myself that it if I worry too much about how things are suppose to be, or how they are suppose to go, I am missing out.  I am keeping the dream. The vision. But I am losing what is real. Real moments I will not get back.

I am a perfectionist. Hugh losing his first tooth wasn't the perfect way I had envisioned it. But, I can't imagine it happening any other way.

I'm back!!

haven't posted in a while. Where does the time go?  I can never seem to get my to do list done.  I always got it done while I was working outside the home...why not now?  i think because before I did it to get it done and not it is done to perfection.  I am a perfectionist.  need to work on that.  I am also a list maker. cannot function without it.  So, what has been happening the past 3 months..... WE ARE MOVING.  Going to San Antonio.  Craig got a good job offer out there so off we go.  I am excited, but nervous.  Downside is that he started the first of the year and we wanted to wait till Hugh got out of school before we went.  5 weeks left till we are all together.  Found a house down there.. need to sell this one...
Off for now..  dinner and homework is the excitement of the night.

BTW.....I don't miss it at all

So, what do you do??

After weeks of waiting, I was finally asked the dreaded question.  I hated getting that question even when I was Assistant Vice President because it seemed the only ones who ever asked were stay-at-home moms and how I coveted their job. During those questions, oh how I dreamed of saying, I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM, chest busting with pride. However, this morning, being asked that question, it didn't seem to have the same satisfaction as I thought it would.  Particularly when the response was OH?!. I can't help but think if months earlier my response was the same?

I Finally did it

So, After  years of daydreaming what it would be like, I finally did it and quit my job.  It wasn't a bad job. Lots of things I liked about it. Made my own hours, came and went as I pleased, on the way to climbing the corporate ladder, and hate to admit it but the money was very good. If I didn't have to go in everyday and deal with those still part of"the good ole boys club", It would have been perfect.
I thought about "retiring" 6 years ago when I became Hugh's Mom (I have to be careful of that word "retiring" as I have found over the past month that those always reply...you are only 37..you are too young to retire!) But, when you return to work after having a baby, and you have the flexibility to be a mom and a career woman, it is hard to give up. Then they start moving you up the corporate ladder and you start thinking that contrary to what is always reported on the TODAY show that you can have it all.
However, the day I put Hugh on the bus for kindergarten, I started thinking about what was it all that I was getting? And what did I give up?
 So, 5 months later, I quit. With nothing more than the support of my husband.  We didn't know if we could even financially do it. However, for the first time in 37 years, I finally threw caution to the wind and did not what was expected of me, but what I wanted to do. And so, the first day of truly being HUGH'S MOM begins...